Thoughts on last week

This past week has been rough. Well this whole month and last month have been like a roller coaster. My sleep cycle has been all screwed up (ok really, admit it, when it is not, insomnia is fun like that, especially when it's medication resistant). So I'll amend that my sleep cycle has been all screwed up worse than usual. My nightmares have been going full tilt. I often wonder if the nightmares are more common in autistic people or if I'm just lucky like that. I've had them my entire life. I'm 25, they show no signs of waning. The noise has come back at night to haunt me. And I'm exhausted.

But some good things have happened too. I decided to go back to college in the fall and have gotten a lot of support from a lot of people on that. With that decision I realized I needed to start studying math again, and that has been going well, until the end of this week at least. My puppy, O, found a new home and had his neuter surgery which went well. I started O&M training which is going well.

Last week I had a string of migraines, shaking hands and nausea that was really unpleasant. Then last night I had another really bad migraine. The meds do work, but now I am having to take the 3rd pill nearly every migraine and when I do that I only have enough pills for 3 migraines a month. This month I've had 5 already. If I have another this weekend I'm supposed to call Dr V the neurolgist and see what he says. Part of it is my own fault. Yesterday I didn't eat right, I forgot my sunglasses, I didn't sleep enough, I was wicked stressed about O's surgery and in the car with my mum driving to pick up O we got stuck in traffic. All things that can trigger my migraines all on one day.

One thing I've been really worried about is the noise. Dr R says it's like auditory hallucinations but not really as it's strictly in my head and not outside. I don't really care what it's called I just know it drives me nuts and has the potential to send me over the edge. Right now it's just happening at night, which isn't helping the sleep, but I saw Dr S this week and he is having me try a new drug. It's been a few days and I don't seem to have any side effects yet, so that's good. He said it'd be a few weeks before I know if it's working and then I have an appt to see him again. I hope it works without bad side effects. I told Dr S that I'd like to try to get it sorted out before I go back to school in Sept. I don't know that I could do school ok with it going full tilt all the time, I might be able to handle it with the noise going just at night and not getting sleep, I don't know, but I'll try. Dr R says I just have to remember, "It's not a person, just a noise." So that's been my mantra for a few nights.

I'm also getting upset about O leaving. He's been my baby for the past 16 months. I picked him out when he was 6.5wks old and took him home when he was 8wks old. He's my baby. He was supposed to be my next guide dog, but he has seizures and he also told me he didn't want to be a guide dog, he just wants to be a pet. So his breeder helped me find him a new home where he can just be a pet like he wants. He'll have the ocean near by, a dog park to play in, another young dog to play with, he'll get to go to day care and have all sorts of fun every day. His new home sounds great and his new owner seems great, but I'm still losing my puppy. But it is for the best for both of us, so I guess it's just got to be.

Today I went to the parade with my mother, sister and J (my guide dog), I had trouble with the loud sirens and couldn't even figure out how to get away from them. Mum had to step in and help and once we walked down a side street a ways I was ok. Sensory processing issues strike again. J really didn't like the drums in the bands so he sat in my lap and I held him until it was over. Then we walked down to the playground fields where all of the booths were. Mum and I got some strawberry short cake and I even remembered 2 people who I haven't seen in a long time. One was a person who I worked with at the vet's office and the other I use to take care of her std poodle. The poodle is now 12, sheesh where has time gone! I remember when she was just a pup! Also the painting studio where I paint had a booth so we went over and said 'hi'. J is the studio mascot of sorts, he loves everyone at the studio especially the director and her husband. She slips him shaved coconut when I'm not looking, so he loves her. Crazy dog.

Then as we were leaving the fire dept had a stand where they had hot dogs and beef ribs so I wanted a rib and mum wanted a hot dog and they gave them to us for free! They were good too. After we walked back to my folk's house and then I drove home with J. I really shouldn't have been driving as I was so tired, but I had to get home some how and walking the 7.5 miles wouldn't have been good either.

Around 4 my friend L is coming over and we're taking 2 of my dogs and at least 1 if not 2 of hers to the chiropractor. O has to go because of his sugergy and M has been really cranky this week so I think his back hurts.

So that is the week in review. I wish I had done more math homework and studying. I should do that this afternoon. Try to get 2 more chapters of Algebra II done then I'll be almost finished with that text and can soon be on pre-algebra and finally on to calculus. Sept will be here before I know it and I have a lot to get done!