Mental Quiet

I didn't realize just how much the noise was impacting my life until it wasn't there. It's funny, most times by the time I start taking medication for the noise or one that works is found, I'm really not doing well. Usually on 24hr or near that watch by friends/family/Dr R, I'm usually going to therapy 2-3x a week, I'm usually struggling to interact with the world so much that even I know it. And then it's a relief when it's gone, but it's also the fear of 'will it come back'. This time it didn't get that far. The noise was just starting to get worse, enough that I notice when it wasn't there though due to the zyprexa. My anxiety is much less. I can hear myself think again. I'm not filtering through a constant background mumbling of sounds and sights. For the 1st time in months there is 'mental quiet'. Things have slowed down these past 2 days. Yes in the morning I feel sedated for a little bit but by 7 or 8am that's pretty much gone and just turned into non tormented quiet. I'm still not taking that drug everyday I don't care how much it helps, I'm not risking the side effects. I don't really know how Dr S is going to take that decision, guess I'll find out next week.