Stress

August 1st came and went and I've been stressed through the roof ever since. Impending college is freaking me out. Last time I tried was 6 years ago under much duress and it was a bloody awful time. And now that's all I can thinking about and remember.

I keep vacillating about getting a puppy to train or not. I talked to my friend S last night about it at length as she's a good consult on things like this and I think in the end now is not the time for a puppy. I think I want a year of just 3 dogs. A year of a pack that gets along and is settled. And when the time comes for the next dog, I want an adult that is already trained. ie a program dog. Which means I am praying to god (and I'm anything but religious) that I get accepted to GDF or FGD or both. If I don't I'm not sure what my next plan of action will be. Try to apply to other schools. Try to find an older puppy to train next year. What. I don't know. I'm still going to go down and visit the breeder of the PWDs just to be doubly sure of my decision, but I think my mind is made up. At least for the next 30 seconds.

I've not had much time to settle and chill all week. It's been over a week since I've had enough time to sleep long enough to take my sleeping meds. Which as an end result means I'm, well, not sleeping. That's not good. I was able to reschedule tomorrow's violin lesson to the afternoon so tonight I should be able to take my meds and hopefully get 12hrs of drugged somnolence.

This morning I over flowed my washing machine. So now part of my basement is flooded. My father is supposed to bring over his dehumidifier for me to borrow tonight since right now I don't really have the cash to fund one of my own. As the other thing S and I talked about was neutering my dog N as he needs to come down a few notches and hopefully that will help. And the estimate I got from the vet this morning was $275. Barring no complications. God I hope there are no complications. So that's getting done on the 18th of this month.

And today I had to give a consult to a family, that had to be one of the hardest of my career as a dog trainer/behavior modification consulter. Brought up a lot of old burried memories about my 1st dog that I really don't want to deal with right now. I have so much else going on I don't have time to be getting depressed and morose about that right now. But guess where I'm going. And today I have therapy. I don't want to go. I don't want to talk about it. I'm tired. And I don't want to talk about it.